down day

Truthfully, I love Afghanistan, and I love my life here. Except when I hate it... so a bit of honesty:

Yesterday I had a migraine from hell, a writhing on the floor, getting up to throw up migraine. Feeling this way significantly taxes my coping skills, and suddenly I am not such a fan of this country. Why can't there be proper toilets? Why can't we have clean water so I can rinse out my mouth? Why does the mullah have to be so off key, and loud? Why are the roads such a disaster? Why can't we hire a proper driver who doesn't sullenly drive like a madman? Why can't shopkeepers just leave me alone? Why is the river full of stinking trash? What am I going to do if this is more than a migraine and I need real medical attention? Why can't the phones consistently work so I can talk to my mom? Is it too much to ask for a bedroom in which the paint is intact (rather than chipping/peeling/molding from when all the snow on the roof melted)?

Wrapped up in my own little misery, my outlook becomes horridly selfish. I realize that and feel even worse, but can't quite snap out of it.