the downside of returning to practice is feeling much more of a novice than i would like to five years after finishing midwifery school. the upside is that i get to feel the delight of being "new" to practice all over again. i get a thrill when a patient says "that didn't hurt" (in chinese!) or "are you always here? i want to see you next time too." i imagine this would please me, even if i'd been at this for half a decade straight, and i know that eventually there will be things at work that drive me crazy, but for right now i get to experience midwifery all shiny and new and wonderful.