Want to clean your carpet?
Put it on the road and have cars drive over it. (Seriously? Seriously.)
How to deal with the problem of viruses on the hospital computer system?
Delete the entire shared drive so that years of work is irretrievably lost.
Running a conference?
Start an hour and a half late, but don’t cut out any of the extraneous poetry readings.
Didn’t get a job you interviewed for?
Prove your suitability by bursting into tears, making accusations of unfairness, and then refusing to do the tasks already assigned to you.
Pregnant?
Don't make any plans or preparations for the birth or baby. (I actually do "understand" this one. It's done out of fear of jinns, but really, I have to be a little bit culturally insensitive and say this is really a bad idea...)
But here's a sentiment I do agree with:
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